Hi an9elbaybe! It's been 1989 (wow, that's a big number) days since you joined Xanga.

WHOA, 1989! Well i havent blogged since New Years? Time for an Update.

College Life is great.  I've never done any better till now.  I'm more than a half done with my RN pre-requisits and on my way into the Nursing Program at Riverside Com College.  I've decided NOT to transfer to Cal State San Marcos only because i think it would be a hassel driving back and forth and added more RN requirments.  Since RCC already has a good program, i might as well stay.  I'm currently taking Intro to Chemistry, Early American History to Present Time, Jazz Appreciation, and English Composition.  I have 3 A's and 1 B )= I need all A's !! I've been studying my beeeehind off almost everyday and night just to do my best.  Also, i actually participate in daily discussions and such, which actually helps me understand the materials!  & i sit in the front in all my classes just because i usually fall asleep if i dont....! College is hard, but if you are truely dedicated and focused, then anybody can conquer!

Petco is sooooooooooooo stressful! But a good type of stress.  I always have to be happy (which i always pretend, esp with grumpy old women) and i have to be an "expert" in aswering questions about animals (which i try, considering the fact that i just started learning about animals this year). Basically, in order to work at Petco, you have to be a good BS-er. hahah. My co-works are funny.  I think that's what gets me by when it comes to a slow, boring, tiring, day.  I hate CLOSING! & i hate being a cashier! There are so many old people with their coupons for every item. it takes forever for me to input it into the system! & they get all grumpy and rush me! There are times where i just want to slap an old woman and tell her to die already, but i dont. muahah. Overall, i've gotten use to it and learn to be a really good cashier.  I have Team Leaders asking me how to work the cash register and other employees (b/c im one of the main cashiers) & i feel COOL.  jk, not really. I love Animals, and i love how people bring in their cute dogs! I love my job (=

My Family life is uh.. going? Ups & downs, but that's normal. I just wish things were different, esp because we're all getting older. But sometimes i feel like no one is even trying anymore.  Im tired of trying to make things work when it's not even helping.  I give up. It's whatever to me now.  No matter how separated we are, no matter how secluded we are, no matter how challenging we are, i think i can never be as close to them anymore.  Sometimes i feel like we are, and sometimes i don't.  I i think my mom & i are close, though. She's the only one that cares enough to make it work. She's the only one whos been there for me. She's the glue to this family. I know many people have problems & many people got it bad, but i just wonder how we can go from close to being so far away from each other. I'm just living in a house full of strangerss.

Loves! My main squeeeeezes! I love you guys with all my heart! You guys really know how to make me feel great and "alive".  I know we all haven't hung out as much as before, we've just all been doing our own things.  I'll always love you all because i know when i need somebody, you're always there! visversaa! Our randomness makes me feel like a different person and it eases the stress away.  I think it's funny how we don't even call each other a "group name" like WINCOTHUGS or harroo whatever they call themeselves. hahah. & i think its funny how we always plan things out but we end up not going, and when we plan something last minute, we actually do it. I love how we can be totally honestly mean to each other and call each other fat, ugly, big foot, big booobs(kenneth), & others i dont wish to say, but it's because we're so close that we can be mean. haha. i love you guys and i know we're going to be fine in the future. PROM 09!!!!!!!! lol jk.

The other half of my heartbeat (= I LOVE YOU MICHAEL PHIL MALLORCA<3 I could write a whole book about you, but i wont because i cant type that fast.  But this boy.. he makes me supperrr-dee-dupper happy! I remember every, moment, every second i spend time with him. Ask me, & i'll tell you.. Nothing and nobody can compeat with him. He really is the ONE.  Seriously. I dont know anyone who can keep up with my bipolar-ness and OCD-ness but him. I can go psycho and weirdly emo, but he just knows how to handle me, visversa. Sometimes we do argue and end up being pure enemies, but in the end, we always try to fix things and work on it.. & we do! I know that he loves me and i love him more<3 I love his family as well, and im sure my family is starting to love him too. We have two doggies, which are thee greatest! I practically live at his house! When i see him through my eyes, i see the world. i love you!

"Hi an9elbaybe! It's been 1673 (wow, that's a big number) days since you joined Xanga... won't you support us by going Premium?" <-- whoa that's a lot of days haha.

Happy New Year!

All late.. better late than never. I have to say that 2007 was my favorite year, despite the ups & downs.  Phew, turning eighteen & graduation, wow i still can't believe it's all over! Senior year is always the best, right?  I made a bunch of close friends but still managed to keep the old ones close as well.  Although i am not 100% happy with everything going on, i am still greatful for what i have.  I learned to not hold grudges & to accept certain situations that i do not want to tolerate with haha.  But whatever.  I like how i can get over things quickly.  Well, that's not really a good thing, but i guess it's good for me.  I miss a lot of the old, heck, it kills me.  But what can you do?  2008 here we come!

Eight Goals for 2008 (copied J.R. lol)

1.  Find a steady, well paying job.

2.  Stop spending money on food!

3.  Learn how to use a better studying method.

4.  Buy a some kinda media player.

5.  Keep up my grades & eventually do better.

6.  Stop being too shy... haha

7.  Love my friends & family.

8.  STAY HAPPY =D

(=

I miss freshmen year.

Wow, RCC is pretty much "blah". I don't really like it. Or maybe it's because i haven't found really good friends.  People i can trust or just have fun with.. Well, to one exception (= High school, i miss high school. Classes are so much harder & stressful in college.  Yea hw isn't a big deal, but the tests are what determines whether you pass or fail. Ever since middle school, ive basically sucked at tests ! the only way for me to get A's/B's is by sucking up or by doing extra credit.. BUT NOOO! you can't do that in college! I guess i'm just a bit overwhelmed. Esp. with midterms.. i can honestly say that i've never ever studied hard as much as i do now. I need more time with my good friends but it's weird how people change! I just wonder if we'd all be close, even for about 5 more years, at least.  That would be greeaat (= Until then, i'm not going anywhere, nor do i have a chance. hahah.

So far as an eighteen year old "woman", i've made mistakes, yet i am learning from them. Consequences are what builds ourselves into becoming an actual adult. Part of growing up is, well, growing up! It's not about regretting your past, its about moving on & looking forward for something better.  Have you ever heard the phrase, "you could do better"? Well that's just it.  The grass is greener on the other side & i can guarantee it.  The only way to move on is to think positive.  Knowing you can do something, really works.  Negativity only brings you down, why would you want that in the first place? I have a good life, no scratch that, i have a great life. I am blessed to be here & fortunate to have a goal that i am pursuing.  So for those who feel like your life is the end of the world, ask yourselves if that is what's really going on, because deep down it's not that bad.  Imagine yourself as a child growing up in Africa, suffering from aids, or a homeless man living off of spare change that we humans hesitate on giving, & then you can say you got it bad.  Although, i really wish we could put an end to poverty.  So do something small, it's the littlest things that matter.

SHOUT OUT TO CECILLE CRISOSTOMO because she has hairy moles.

Why hello myspace xanga. It's been a long time since i`ve updated & now i feel like i`m ready to explain the impact on everything. YES ! its long, i dont expect anyone to read it. Well from the last entry, i`ve gained new friends, new goals, more responsibilities, and a boyfriend. 

Yes, Gene & I became an "item", or whatever its called.  I THOUGHT i could say that i`ve never fallen for someone like him.  I found out alot of things about myself just from his presence. There was nothing i`d rather be with BUT Gene. For some reason, things didnt work out.  Things just began to get worst day by day, & it killed me.. For the first time, i didnt know who the hell were my friends.   I really didnt like it.  I felt as if i was a hypocrite because i`d say that Friends come First.  & yet i put them last.. I didnt want everything to go wrong. I "loved him" & the feelings he always gave me; I loved him in general.  But people change, why?  I`ve realized that there are more important things in life that i should focus on.  I have my whole life to find a boyfriend.

Early December i lost my dearest Grandpa.  I hated the feeling of losing someone you loved. It was like WOW.  You know?.  I guess i knew it wouldnt happen.  I was mostly angry or depressed at this time.  My grandpa suffered from Cancer for almost a year.  The thing was, he was basically the strongest person i know, physically & emotionally.  He can freakn Dunk a bball in the hoop ! & he`s more fit that my dad & all his siblings.  He was my superman ! He tought me how to fight (sorta lol).  I try not to think of him most of the time.  But when i do, i know that he`s always going to be there for me, no matter where he is.  It really sucked because he said he`d visit & be here for my graduation.  But its okay now because i love him so much & thats what really matters the most. I guess it was his time to move on to a better life, Heaven, that is.

Year 2007.  I have received my Nursing Assistant License.  I was so happy.  I love working with the old people no matter the harsh conditions.  I really feel like i helped out alot.  You see, the elderly are usually put in these "homes" because they either have no family or their family has put them in there because they dont want them living with that anymore.. Its pretty sad. The elderly are also weak & need assitance for everything. I really enjoyed helping them & seeing their faces when you make them happy.  They cant do anything for themselves.. Basically a baby, only bigger, you know? its hard work.  The thing that i hate the most about these nursing facilities is when you become attached to one of the patients, then they suddenly pass awayy =/

Prom was the best ever.  So was Gradnite ! But i`d have to say that Graduation was my highlight of the year. It was like a huge ceremony of become an "adult".  A new, refreshing start on life after high school.  Its pretty scary, now that i think of it.  I feel good though. Yet, i`m 18 & i still have a curfew. Yes its sad. hahah. Job hunting. A must. i got a job w/ my mom already but i`m still thinking what days & junk. But i also want another one for summertime & only summertime.  Gotta raise money for Gas now that i roll in a Highlander ! There was many ups & downs but the only way to make things better, is to make it better.  "EFFORT PRODUCES ACHIEVEMENT" ( Southwest High ) . Life`s Good..

Lastly I`d also have to say that my friends have made a big difference in my life. 

F10, you SDers are great.  I love that we are still active since 2003 ! Yes i know that i havent been there in awhile, but when i do go there, it feels like everything is back to normal.  Minus drama or whatever.  I like that. Especially our bonfires. You girls definitly make me happy  because you all are my family.  Its weird because i thought things would change once i moved up here. I thought that you`d "replace" me or something ! But i know forsure that you cant change f10.  When i`m with you all, you make things fun. Seriously.  You guys are great. I love you ! 

Eight Plus One. I think its funny how we all become friends. We`re all so different & yet the same. I like how we all got close this year. Its cooooool ! I like all the random things we do & weird convos.  You guys make Menifee Fun. & Thats a huge thing, considering the fact that theres nothing in Menifee.. lol. I have alot to say. But i`m not gunna make this all mushy & crap. But  I hope that we all stay close because i really need you guys ! I love the fact that when we plan things then suddenly things go wrong.  You know why? Because after the phase of being stressed, we change it & end up having fun. weird ! Well, Mary, Nikko, Sheila, Jessica, Colin, Kris, Jr, & Resty. I LOVE YOU GUYS!

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